Fill #3

I had fill #3 today, bringing me to 4.5cc in my band. I'm hoping this is the fill that'll push me where I want to be, as I felt pretty good about the last one and definitely had restriction and noticed a decrease in portion size.
I was just reflecting tonight on how much we can beat ourselves up in these types of journeys... Instead of looking at things in a positive light, like "I lost 10 pounds last month," we spin it to "I only lost ten pounds last month!" Sometimes I wonder how we can lose sight of the small amount of real time that has passed and get all down on ourselves?
I am owning those ten pounds I lost since my last fill. They are ten pounds I won't be waiting around on and that I won't invite back.
Sometimes it seems like I've fallen off the blog wagon. Generally I feel like there's not much new going on in my life worth writing about. I also feel that when I make poor food choices, it can give others reason to judge me and become the food police. I guess I need to get over that and not expect every day to be an easy, quiet journey. I am human and a tiger does not change its stripes over night. I have had food habits for over 20 years that won't change in 3 months. What has changed is my ability to eat far less crap in less frequent periods. I guess that is an accomplishment in itself. And, it's not like I'm sitting at home eating potato chips every day, but when I indulge in a cookie or something, I feel guilty. Why am I going around saying there are no bad foods when I can't fully embrace the idea myself? I guess it's a naturally conditioned reaction from the dieting I've done the majority of my life.

Anyways, I'm alive and well :) Still hoping to hit 215 by the end of June, although it is probably unrealistic at this point... Although, my next day of liquids may help me there.